Carolyn Hax: I want a virgin who isn’t boring or prudish


DEAR CAROLYN: I’m 25, a guy and a virgin. It’s not that I don’t put a very high premium on sex — I actually think real and complete intimacy with a woman is one of the best things in life — but sex isn’t something I want to share with a lot of women.

I want to wait until I’m married, or at least on the way there. It’s not out of prudishness or discomfort with sex but precisely because I place such a high value on it that I want to wait.

My problem is that I don’t seem to meet any women who feel the same way, and I’m beginning to wonder if there are any anymore. I’ve met virgins, but they tend to think of sex as a terrible sin or, what’s worse, they tend to be unspeakably boring (they’ve got no fire).

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Have I just painted myself into a totally unreasonable corner here? How can I figure out what to give up?

New York, New York

DEAR NEW YORK: Two ideas that strike me as easy ones to give up: that the virgins you know can speak for the ones you don’t — and that virgins are the only women who put a high value on sex and intimacy.

There is no shortage of people who share your conclusion on this; some of them just made different choices en route and arrived there by roads different from yours.

DEAR CAROLYN: I dated a girl who had some major problems, but I fell in love with the best in her and put a lot of effort into the relationship.

Eventually we broke up, and within a few months she was living with the guy she had dated before …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle

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